It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
