Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
