do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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