I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
