Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
