soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize