yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
