When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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