That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
