the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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