May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
