Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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