make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
