return my video game
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize