i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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