she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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