he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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