the condom got lost in my hair
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
