I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
