your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
