Don't you send me to vm
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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