One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
