I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
