You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
