i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
