I need help removing her.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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