Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
