She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
