Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
