Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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