I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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