i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
