I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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