Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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