The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
