we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
