Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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