You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
