I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Shame is for Republicans.
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