At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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