If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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