I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
