wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
