all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
