I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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