I heard we made out
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
