my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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