That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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