I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
