at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
