I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
