I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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