So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
