Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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