I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
