I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
