Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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