Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
