you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize