do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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