I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
