worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
