Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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