Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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