I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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