I'm so fucking centered right now
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
